


Joke’s on You

by FranBunny



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Forgive Me, I’m late but better late than never, Lots of stupid stuff, M/M, Mpreg, Naruto’s birthday fic, Other, Spin the Bottle, my attempt at humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 02:10:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16296269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranBunny/pseuds/FranBunny
Summary: What’s supposed to be a dare leads to some amazing discoveries and stronger bonds.





	Joke’s on You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is pure crack. I’m actually glad I word vomited enough to make a birthday fic for our favorite sunshine boy! Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> Unbeta’d, we die like men.

Celebrating Naruto’s twenty-sixth birthday is just like every other year they’ve celebrated. Ever since they’ve turned twenty-one (eighteen, actually), booze has become an ever present party drink in their lives. 

The surprise party that Sakura planned out for Naruto is turning out well. Everybody’s present at the apartment Sakura shares with Ino. Everyone brought their assigned food, and most importantly, their assigned drinks. 

And while Lee was most certainly  _ not  _ assigned to bring tequila, nobody seems to be complaining.

When the food is devoured by a hungry pack of wolves called friends, and the alcohol is being passed around like a baton, the group of friends gather around in a circle to sing Naruto a happy birthday tune one more time. 

The blonde is smiling brightly, his ridiculous orange party hat sparkling under the light of the living room fluorescence. 

“Thanks, guys! As usual, my birthday is awesome! Lee, pour me another shot!” Naruto says with enthusiasm.

“Idiot, remember that you drove here.” Sasuke says from beside him, pulling at the crook of Naruto’s elbow to get his attention. 

“I’d love to, Naruto, but we’re fresh out.” Lee emphasizes his statement by waving the upside down bottle of tequila in his hand.

“Aw bummer.” Naruto pouts, sitting back beside Sasuke and Kiba.

“I have an idea!” Everyone turns to Ino, and really, it shouldn’t be surprising because she  _ always  _ has ideas. The question of them being great ideas or bad ideas… well… They’ll have to find out. “Why don’t we play spin the bottle?”

Everybody gives a groan of exasperation but Lee and Naruto. 

“Okay, I don’t care about everyone’s opinion. The only opinion that matters tonight is Naruto’s.” She then turns to the birthday boy and grins. “Yes?” 

“You just want a shot at kissing Sasuke!” Sakura says to her with friendly spite.

“And you don’t? Stop pretending.” Ino says before sticking her tongue out to her best friend who does the same. She turns back to Naruto. “Well?”

“Yeah! I’m ready for some kissing!” Naruto says, and nobody may have noticed the glare Sasuke sends Naruto right after he says that.

“Okay, so rules are, the spinner has to ask the poor unfortunate soul that gets pointed by this bottle truth or dare. And we all know how it goes from there!” Ino says with glee.

“Oh god, not this again.” Shikamaru adds. “Can I sit this one out?” At the unison ‘NO!’, Shikamaru raises his hands up in surrender. “I hate all of you.”

“Okay, since it’s Naruto’s birthday, he gets to spin first.”

“Yeah!!” Naruto quickly grabs the bottle from Lee’s hand.

“The hell are you so enthusiastic about?” Sasuke murmurs, but Naruto ignores him, spinning the bottle, and waiting for the unfortunate target to be pointed out.

_ Sakura. _

“Oh god, why.” Sakura groans out.

“Yessss!! Okay. Truth or dare? Please pick dare.”

Sakura narrows her eyes at Naruto. “Why?”

“Because! It’s funner than truth.”

“Okay, truth.” She says smugly, and Naruto’s mouth gapes open like a fish mounted on a wall.

“I just— okay, fine. Did you sleep with Shikamaru that night after Kiba’s party?” 

“What?! You can’t ask me that!” Sakura says, her face as red as a tomato.

“Dude, not cool!” Shikamaru adds.

Naruto raises his hands in an attempt to act innocent. “You chose truth, now ya gotta tell us the truth.”

Everyone’s eyes are on Sakura. The pressure is making her sweat, and she looks at Naruto like she’s going to strangle him as a birthday present. The grin Naruto gives her only pisses her off more, but her eyes lock onto Shikamaru’s. The guy merely shrugs and slaps his forehead.

“Ugh, fine.  _ Yes _ .” 

“Ha!! Ha!! I knew it! I knew it!” Naruto says, standing and pointing at Shikamaru accusingly.

“Okay, okay, stop being annoying! I’m gonna spin.” Sakura says despite everybody’s shocked expression. “What? Don’t think I don’t know all of your deepest darkest secrets!” 

Some visibly gulp, Naruto especially, and he sits back down in time for Sakura to spin the bottle. This time it lands on Gaara. 

“Alright, truth or dare?” 

Gaara thinks about it for a moment, tapping his finger on his chin before deciding. “Truth.” 

“Wow, everyone’s lazy tonight.” Naruto says and turns to Sasuke. “Choose dare okay?” 

Sasuke merely pushes Naruto’s cheek until he’s facing back to Gaara’s general direction. 

“Okay,” Sakura says. “What’s the craziest sex position you’ve ever tried?”

Gaara’s non-existent eyebrows raise, and he turns to Lee before looking back to Sakura. “He calls it the ‘Drunken Fist’.”

“Aw oh my  _ god _ , we did not need to know that!” Naruto says.

While everyone is in various stages of disgust and shock, Lee gives Gaara a thumbs up and a grin. Gaara returns a small smile, clearly amused by everyone’s reaction.

“Okay, hurry up and spin that bottle. Delete this from my mind.” Naruto says, running a hand through his hair.

Gaara takes the bottle with a chuckle and spins it.

The game goes on with Kiba daring to stick his nose into Chouji’s shoe and barfing, Naruto snorting a crushed piece of hot cheetoh’s and almost dying (Sasuke could not stop laughing), Lee picking Tenten’s nose, Sai drawing a penis on his own forehead with a Sharpie (how could you even draw a proper penis like that?!), and Ino showing everyone her largest sex toy, which has everyone sweating bullets.

“Finally, I get to torture someone!” Ino exclaims and quickly spins the bottle. To her, and everyone’s delight, it points to Sasuke. He rolls his eyes.

“Tr—“ Sasuke stops himself before he could even utter the word. Ino.  _ Ino _ knows his secret. The only other person who knows his deepest darkest secret, and found out by accident. He eyes her, studies her expression, and as Sasuke predicted, she looks ready to ask him what kind of underwear he usually wears if he chooses truth. If he chooses dare, he’ll be safe, because if she asks to show his underwear, he’s currently wearing boxer briefs. Sasuke’s mind is made up for him. “Dare.”

“Yes! Dare. You listened to me.” Naruto says with glee.

“Shut  _ up _ .” His eyes narrow at Naruto.

“Dare, huh?” Ino says, rubbing her chin with her thumb and forefinger. “Okay. Hold on.”

They all watch her stand and hurry to her room. It takes her a minute or so, but she comes back with a pink and white box in hand. She proudly shows everybody what she has in store for the Uchiha. 

“You’re fucking kidding, right?”

“What’s the matter? You scared?” Ino taunts, shaking the box in Sasuke’s direction.

“You dare  _ me _ to take a pregnancy test? Are you out of your mind?” 

“Hm, maybe it’ll explain your bitchy attitude the past few weeks. I mean, the more  _ extreme _ bitchy attitude. And maybe you aren’t seeing anybody, so, what do you have to lose, Sasuke?” Ino says with a smirk.

Sasuke turns to all the eyes in his direction. His blood is boiling, and he’s getting even more pissed off by the second. He grabs the box and heads for the bathroom. “Just to show you what a waste of a good pregnancy stick this dare is.”

When the door slams shut, everybody refuses to say anything. The tension is palpable, a hot knife could cut it like butter. 

“What the hell, Ino?” Sakura whispers.

“What? It’s a joke. Chill, I just wanted to piss him off.” Ino chuckles. 

Not a minute later, the bathroom door opens and Sasuke takes his place back at his previous spot. He places the pregnancy stick in the middle for everyone to see. The results haven’t shown yet, but everyone’s not really expecting anything. Not especially Sasuke.

They all stare at the stick until what appears are two lines.  _ Two fucking lines _ .

_ Pregnant. _

The room is dead quiet until Naruto finally breaks the silence. 

“What the fuck?”

What the fuck indeed. Sasuke couldn’t believe it. It all makes sense now. The mood swings, the random light nauseating feeling, the sudden dislike for coffee. Sasuke turns to Naruto.

“You fucking told me you wore a condom!”

“I did!” Naruto raises his hands in surrender like Shikamaru had earlier.

“Look at this!” Sasuke shoves the stick to Naruto’s face and Naruto scrambles away.

“Ew! That has your piss on it!”

“You’ll be worrying  _ less  _ about my piss once I’m done with you!”

Everyone watches the two argue. It isn’t something that’s unusual, but to think Ino’s prank turned into a big mess? Miracle? She doesn’t even know what to call it. She can’t help but feel happy, though.

Naruto and Sasuke have been pining for the longest time, and for everyone to find out they’ve been sleeping with each other this way, hell, it’s definitely something that’ll go down in the books. 

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Sasuke?”

“Hn?”

Sasuke turns his attention from the streetlights blurring out the car window to Naruto who’s driving them back to their shared apartment. They’ve been roommates for the good part of two years, but they’ve really only started sharing one room a good six months ago.

They wanted to see how it would go with them treading the waters away from being best friends into something more, and they thought maybe announcing it would be useless if they didn't work out.

“You think that pregnancy stick is right?”

Sasuke turns back to the window and places a hand under his chin, his elbow against the door. “I don’t know. Sometimes they could be wrong.”

“Oh.”

They’re both quiet for the rest of the ride, but when Naruto parks the car at the apartment driveway, none of them move to get out of the vehicle. Naruto lets out a breath, fogged up by the night’s cold, and reaches out to grab Sasuke’s hand resting on his abdomen. Sasuke turns to him then.

“If…” Naruto gulps. “If that pregnancy stick is right…” He clears his throat. “I want you to know that I’m with you all the way.”

Sasuke gives him a small smile. Sasuke is never known for his smiles, let alone something this soft, but Naruto has and will forever be a witness of all the things Sasuke is under that mask he wears.

“I know.” 

Naruto slots their fingers together, pulling them up to his lips so he could kiss Sasuke’s pale knuckles. “This is like… The best present ever. Can you imagine? A mini-me. I get to have clone!”

Sasuke pulls his hand away from Naruto’s hold and places his palms on either of Naruto’s cheeks. 

“Can you shut up?” Sasuke says before he’s pulling Naruto in for a deep and loving kiss.

Sasuke will never admit it, but he’s just as excited for a little Naruto as Naruto is.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I hope you all enjoyed that! 
> 
> Update for my Fox Children fic WHICH a lot have been asking me about. I’ve decided to redo the whole storyline. My finals are in a week so hopefully I get to write what I have planned during my two week break. Thanks so much for the patience and the encouragements!!
> 
> Meanwhile, all I have is this small thing, so.


End file.
